


Changing

by teenwolfxsterek



Series: Changing [1]
Category: Derek Hale - Fandom, Sterek - Fandom, Stiles Stilinski - Fandom, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-21 09:06:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4823225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenwolfxsterek/pseuds/teenwolfxsterek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia's death has broken Stiles. He starts to give up on everything when an unexpected partner arrives back into his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like, you could follow me on Instagram @teenwolfxobrien :)

 

 

**Chapter 1**

**26th February 2016, 2:17am**

Stiles wakes up in a sweaty, screaming fit, he's out of breath and his mouth is bone dry. The screams he's producing are raspy and strained and it burns his throat but he can't stop, not until he knows he's not still dreaming.

This is the sixth nightmare he has had this week. His Dad comes rushing in with eyes still blurry and dusty from the few hours of sleep he managed to get. He sits at the top of the bed and puts Stiles' squirming body on his lap and starts rocking him forwards and backwards gently, just like he did when he got nightmares as a little boy. After counting his fingers silently, Stiles manages to stop screaming and bursts into tears. His Dad hates it when Stiles cries like this, harsh and genuine sobs, all the emotion he's been holding in is gushing out uncontrollably. The Sheriff can feel Stiles' pain and heartbreak and it hurts him so much to know there is nothing he can do to take the pain away.

This has been a regular thing ever since Lydia's death. Her fragile, lifeless face is imprinted into his memory. She died in his arms, bleeding out from her heart. Lydia struggled to say anything in her last moments. But she managed to say to Stiles that she'd miss him and to tell everyone that she loved them. The same words keep replaying in Stiles' mind. Hurting him just as much as when she actually said it.

Even though Lydia knew she wasn't going to make it. Even with all the fear and terror she must have been feeling. She still forced a smile upon her face for Stiles, to reassure him that she was okay. Seeing the life drain from her bright, green eyes and the rosy colour of her cheeks fade had taken a huge chunk from Stiles' heart and erased the picture of her smiling.

The panic attacks are nearing impossible to get out of now. It's like he's trapped in a never ending nightmare. He's tried endless amounts of tricks and ways to stop them but nothing is working. Nothing is working because he's lost everything. He's lost one of the things he cared for most in this world. The girl he's loved since third grade when she came into class with her long, silky, strawberry-blone hair in two perfect pigtails and the cutest pink dress he'd ever seen. Stiles always looked up to Lydia, she was so smart and so popular. Two things Stiles never thought would go together, but she managed to pull it off. All the bright and fun moments they had together have been shattered. Just like Stiles' heart.

**26th February 2016, 7:03am**

Stiles stumbles downstairs towards the kitchen for breakfast. He's never felt so tired and broken in his life. When he enters the kitchen his Dad is sitting in his chair with a cup of coffee in one hand and a file in the other. The Sheriff's face is scrunched up in confusion as he tries to solve yet another crime most likely involving something supernatural. As Stiles' shuts the door his Dad looks up with a concerned expression on his face.

"You alright?" his Dad asks with a very clearly tired voice. Stiles doesn't really have a response but the answer is pretty obvious so he just presses his lips together and takes a seat at the old kitchen table. He's not hungry or thirsty so Stiles just sits there giving company to his Dad. He feels bad about the many nights that he's been keeping him awake, so the most he can do is sit with his Dad while he figures out a few crimes.

"You know, you don't have to go to school today" Stiles thinks about the idea of school and decides its best for him to stay home a few more days. After a few minutes of silence, his Dad puts down his mug and walks over to where Stiles is sitting.

"Alright, well i'm gonna head off to work now. If you feel like staying home, i'm absolutely fine with that. Just try to get some rest".

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, son".The Sheriff pats Stiles on the back and sets off on his way to work. There is no way Stiles' is going to sleep, he can't face one more of those nightmares again. So, he takes the last of the remaining coffee in the machine and starts to walk upstairs. Theres not much for Stiles to do around the house so he settles for watching an episode of 'Friends'. He needs something to lighten the mood anyway.

When he's on his fifth episode, his phone starts to buzz from under the crumpled up bed covers. It's Scott. Hey, how you holding up? I can come over if you want? Stiles feels too guilty to turn him down because Scott has been hurt by Lydia's death too but he's just not ready to talk to anyone right now, so he decides to leave the message for a bit until he feels like he can give a proper answer. Stiles starts to head downstairs in sight of something to do and ends up settling down to play a video game. He sits down by the box of the many games he has. ' _Grand Theft Auto V'_ , ' _Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare_ ', ' _Metal Gear Solid_ '.Nothing is really appealing to him right now but he needs to be distracted. Stiles' phone vibrates in his pocket. He should really answer to Scott now, his friends need him just as much as he needs them. Pulling out his phone from his hoodie, he looks at the text and blinks his eyes a few times to make sure he's not reading it wrong. That can't be right. A text from Derek? He hasn't spoken to Stiles since he left with Cora to probably go to some isolated ghost town.

**Scott told me what happened. Sorry. -Received 2:56pm**

Stiles can refrain from texting Scott for a bit, but he hasn't spoken to Derek for almost a year. He's not really sure what to say, how do you answer to a text like that?

**It's okay, I'm sorry too.-Sent 2:59pm**

That's a blatant lie. Derek knows he's not okay, Scott knows he's not okay, his Dad knows he's not okay. Everyone knows he's not okay. But Stiles has to keep telling himself he's fine otherwise he'll lose it just like he did when his Mum died. He made a promise to himself never to get like that again. Not talking to anyone, barely eating, sleeping, drinking. Skipping school and sitting in the reserve for countless nights. Even ignoring his Dad when he was in just as much pain as Stiles was. It hurts him to think about his Mother. He can't stop thinking about the way she spoke, the smell of her neck when she pulled him in close for a hug, the way she made the best pancakes ever and how she was the most beautiful, caring woman in the world. But the other half can't stop thinking about the memories of sleepless nights in the hospital, waiting by her side. Watching her deteriorate in front of his very eyes, watching as she blamed him for everything and watching as she died. Stiles manages to escape from his thoughts and realises his hands are shaking uncontrollably and his eyes are starting to sting with the tears that are welling up now. Putting back the video games, Stiles wipes a tear from his cheek and rushes upstairs. He sits on the end of his bed and looks at the photo frame sitting on his desk. It's a picture of him and Lydia right before prom. Lydia looks breath-taking, that was the best night of Stiles' life. Getting to dance with the Lydia Martin. He misses her so much. Lying down and turning over to his side, he falls asleep to the image of Lydia dying in his arms again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

  
**27th February 2016, 4:23 am**

Stiles is sitting impatiently on the rug beside his bed, tapping his foot on the floor. He picks up the mug that's next to him and takes a big gulp. It's his sixth coffee today and he's buzzing full of caffeine. Stiles doesn't even really like coffee, he just can't withstand any more nightmares. He can't watch all the people he cares about die repeatedly, it's torture. For the past few hours Stiles has done nothing but sit and drink his warm cup of coffee silently. Occasionally he'd look at his phone to see the time but other than that, he's been practically motionless. He's got to do something, something to take his mind off everything. If he sits here any longer, he'll lose it and go insane from boredom. Stiles stands up, shakes off the cramp in his foot and walks over to the desk to pick up his laptop. He opens the computer and the bright light blinds him. Squinting, he stares at the plain desktop. He's mesmerised by the background. It's a picture of him and his dad when he was about 9. They both look so happy.

  
Stiles focuses on the tiny details that make up his Dad. The wrinkles that proliferate through out his forehead, down to the corner of his eyes and trace over his laughter lines. Each and every one resembling a memory, all a piece of him. His comforting smile that always give Stiles a warm, calm feeling inside. The Sheriff's big, worn hands that hold Stiles' little ankles as he sits on his Dad's shoulders. Without any conciousness of what he's doing, Stiles starts to drift off to sleep. He's lost in the peaceful thought of his Dad. The only thing he has left in this world besides Scott.

  
**27th February 2016, 6.37am**

  
"Stiles, wake up! You need to get ready!" Stiles' body is being pushed around by a pair of tough hands.

  
"Alright, alright! I'm up." He rubs his eyes to see his Dad crouched down beside him. Stiles realises that he must have passed out on the floor when he was trying to stay awake.

  
"How late where you up till, last night?" The Sheriff asks, clearly confused at to why Stiles is in a crumpled heap on the floor with a cup of coffee spilt all over him and the bedroom rug.

  
"I can't remember, but not that late" Stiles knows he was up past 4 but he's not going to tell his Dad that. Stretching his arms up, Stiles gathers the energy to stand up and gives a reassuring smile to his Father. He picks up a t-shirt, a pair of jeans and gets some clean underwear from the drawer.

  
Opening the door, he stares at himself in the bathroom mirror. He's a mess. Hair pulled in one hundred different directions, noticeable dark circles , skin pale as a ghost, eyes puffy from many tears and the few hours of sleep he managed to get and coffee spilled all over his t-shirt. He hasn't looked like this in a while, at least not since he was possessed by the Nogitsune. I mean he has ended up looking pretty unkempt sometimes, if he had to stay up late with a homework assignment or to help Scott battle some mythological beast all through the night until early morning. But this is a whole new definition of dishevelment.

  
Stiles knows he can't go to school like this, so he combs his hair until all the tufts are neatly in place and then he ruffles his hand through it so he doesn't look like a little church boy. He then removes his dirty, coffee stained pyjamas and replaces them with a set of some-what clean clothes. But before he forgets and ends up running out the house smelling like week-old trash, he sprays a quick load of deodorant on and brushes his teeth. With one last look in the mirror, Stiles makes a quick assumption that he looks just about acceptable enough to go out in public now.

  
He grabs his blue straggly backpack, his old red hoodie, heads downstairs and out the door. Stiles opens the gate at the end of the pathway from his house and turns right. He continues walking and staring at the sidewalk when a female figure struts past him rapidly. Lifting his head up, he catches a glimpse of red hair, but it's not red, it's strawberry-blonde. A loose white dress flows behind her and she's wearing a tight , grey cardigan. Stiles stops for a second, confused by what he's seeing. That can't be her, can it? Stiles doesn't hesitate as he starts running after this woman. It's got to be her.

  
"Hey, Lydia!" The lady doesn't turn around and carries on walking. She probably didn't hear him, so Stiles runs a little faster to try and catch up with her. Stiles can feel happiness mixed with confusion swirling around inside him, Lydia is back and she's right in front of him. All he wants is to give her a big hug and tell her how much he loves and missed her. As he reaches her, he puts a hand on her shoulder and brushes her strawberry-blonde locks out of the way.

  
"Lydia, I've mi-" The woman turns around and Stiles drops to his knees. He starts to shake and tremble, tears filling up his eyes.

  
It's not Lydia.

  
"Excuse me, but do i know you?" Each word feels like a kick in the stomach because the words aren't coming from Lydia. The woman struts off, leaving Stiles' weak, distraught body collapsed on the sidewalk. All he can imagine now is Lydia dying over and over again. Her last words piercing Stiles heart.

  
He's in a ball on the floor, bawling his eyes out and shaking like crazy. Stiles needs to stand up and go back home, he can't let anyone see him like this. But he's just so weak, like all the energy he had was drained out of him. Stiles only realises he's not breathing when he's struggling for air. With all his power, Stiles managed to push himself up against a wall. He's still not breathing, his vision is fading and he's feeling light-headed. He can feel his lungs burning and his heart pounding in his ears. This is it, he's going to die.

  
**27th February 2015, 9:58am**

  
Stiles slowly wakes up to the sound of people talking. He can't make out who but the voices sound familiar. Shaking the grogginess off, Stiles finally knows who the voices belong to. His Dad, Melissa and Scott. He hasn't spoke to Scott since the incident, which Stiles know is really selfish because Scott needed his best friend.

  
"Hey Stiles, how you feeling?" Scott asks in a gentle and quiet voice, like he's talking to a newborn baby. He sits at the bottom of the bed, by Stiles feet and he rests a comforting hand on his leg.

  
"I'm fine...what happened?" Stiles can't remember much except he knows that he was on his way to school.

  
"I was going to your house to make sure you were going to school today when i found you leaning up against a wall, half-unconscious, you weren't breathing properly so i helped you use my inhaler and then you passed out" It's all making sense now and Stiles can remember why all this happened. The heartbreak washes over him again and he feels hopeless. "I was concerned so I called your Dad and my Mum to come and help. You've been unconscious for about two and a half hour."

  
"Sorry, you didn't have to go out of your way to help me, I would've been fine" Stiles feels guilty for putting Scott to all this trouble and concern.

  
"Well, what did you expect me to do? Leave you out on the road? You're my best friend, of course I am going to help you. No matter what. You understand?".Stiles presses his lips together in acceptance. He can't argue with Scott, he's too stubborn and determined when it comes to protecting his friends. There's a knock on the door and Melissa and The Sheriff slowly walk in with worried looks on their faces.

"You okay now?" Melissa asks. "Your Father said you haven't eaten for a few days. Have you been drinking?"

  
"Yeah," He pauses to lick his dry lips, "just coffee really but I've been drinking." Stiles says in a weak and gruff voice.

  
"Well I am going to give you some vitamins because you're clearly not getting out, eating or drinking enough."

  
"Stiles, we are here for you. I know right now is incredibly tough for you. But you're stronger than this. We'll get through this together." Scott looks Stiles in the eyes with a sad puppy dog expression on his face.

  
"Thanks guys" Stiles doesn't really have much to say. There is something missing, a piece of Stiles that he can't seem to find. Whether that's Lydia, his Mum or something else. But Stiles feels incomplete.

  
"Right, well, you should probably get some sleep because from what i've heard you haven't been sleeping well either. Also, I put some sleeping pills on your dresser, take no more than twice a day. Anyway, I've got to rush back to work now, stay safe Stiles." Melissa gives Stiles a small, warm smile and leaves. Scott says his goodbyes and follows behind Melissa.

  
"Listen, son, if you ever do that to me again, I swear to God I will kill you. You know how worried I get about you. Especially since I found out about all this supernatural stuff." His Dad walks over to the dresser and takes out a sleeping pill. He then walks over to Stiles bed and hands him the pill and the cup of water sitting on his bedside table. "Just be careful...please".

  
Stiles swallows the capsule with a big gulp of water and turns over onto his side.

  
" I love you, Dad"

" I love you more, Son"

  
It's only the beginning of the day and it's already gone terrible for Stiles. Today has probably been one of the hardest since Lydia actually died. He had a crazy moment where he actually thought Lydia was still alive and when he realised it wasn't her, it hurt Stiles more than anyone could ever imagine.

  
Stiles picks up his phone and opens a picture of him and Lydia. It kills him to stare at it, but he can't take his eyes off it. Because there's something so strangely comforting about it. He's so hurt but feels so safe that he falls asleep with the picture of them together imprinted into his memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be adding drawings soon :) Also I cannot thank you guys enough, i thought his fanfic would only get a few hits but 200? That's insane for my first chapter. I'm so happy and shocked. THANK YOU <3

**Author's Note:**

> Let's ignore the fact how awful the drawings are. I will update them once my skills have improved :)


End file.
